Everyone struggles, everyone is on a journey. Don’t judge your progress by someone else’s.
Have a peaceful day.
I love April, and not just because it’s my birth month.
ANYWHO, I hope y’all are doing well. I apologize for being so quiet on this page.
- Wrap up editing on BP
- Writing book 2.
- Get back to writing Friday Flash Fic
- Get back to regular posting here.
What are your plans?
Become a Patron!
I like patreon’s format. I like how they help artists of all nature share their art with their fans. I thought I’d share a couple patreon pages that I’m following.
Abney Park has some awesome steampunk themed music and seriously deserves a lot of support.
Seriously love their sound.
Their website is over here.
Another writer I support is Val Griswald Ford a long time dear friend. Recently she suffered a horrible loss so her page is sorta quiet. But her writing is fantastic and I really think people should take the time to check her out. Her patreon page is here. As I come across them, I’ll list other pages.
I’ve been practicing writing blurbs and I think I need a lot more practice. I wanted to write one for BP. All day, yesterday I struggled with writing it, I read other book blurbs, I wrote up several versions and hated them all because I felt so lost. Then a couple dear friends, including J.A. Marlow helped me by tweaking what I wrote and rewriting it, in essence, showing me how to condense it to something to catch someone’s attention.
So naturally I thought I’d share em here. 😛
The Bastard Prince
So this morning, I worked up one for book 2, The Sarukai Lord
I’m still playing with the book three blurb. I’ll add it here later. Anyways I wanted to share with you.
May your coffee or tea (or hot chocolate) never run out.
What’s YOUR mug look like?
When in doubt, nap. ~ unknown
Be kind to each other.
*picture was found on facebook, I couldn’t find info on the photographer or the story behind it. If you happen to know, please tell me. It makes me want to write a kids book XD
January was a difficult month. I’ve seen over and over on FB, Jan was the trial month, Feb is when 2017 ACTUALLY starts. Something I really can’t argue with. This morning, as I was coming home from grabbing a quick (and unhealthy) bite to eat I got bushwacked by an idea for the Avaria series. It wasn’t forced, it was the result of beating my head against the wall begging the creativity in me to please crawl out of the hole, I won’t let the monsters get you. It just jumped me from behind the bushes and I got a huge insight into a beloved character and explanation for some of his motives in the series (note; this wasn’t a Zander scene fwiw).
After months of blank brain, anxiety and depressed brain, I had clairity. and something else, kindof a startling realization; no anxiety at all. Yes there are concerns, I’ve got a lot on my plate atm, but the anxiety isn’t there. Anyone who has dealt with anxiety can relate that wonderful fresh feeling of being able to clearly think. However long it lasts, I’m glad it’s here.
SO, I’ll be getting fresh content stuff up and scheduled at the patreon page. Please check it out, maybe share it if you like it. Thoughts, ideas and suggestions are always welcome (even if I don’t agree with them). I’m slowly going through the website to fix links and whatnot some of this is way overdue for a cleansing.
Politics – Call your representatives. Write letters, share stories the media refuses to cover, and always ALWAYS check your sources! And if you have to, disconnect, take a walk, paint, write, turn off social media and the news, turn on a childhood fave, blast your music, let yourself rest and don’t, for the love of all that’s holy, DON’T FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING TO SELF-CARE.
Be kind to each other.
The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Emma Lazarus (November 2, 1883)
May you be at peace.
I have been dealing with sick kids, hubs and self, job applications, interviewing (I got the job! YAY) after being let go from a retail position I fell in love with. I’ve also been fighting depression. Some, I know, is cause by the mess of the past two years. Some is caused by my guilt over messing up and missing personal goals because of life. And some is caused by this circus of an election. And there is a lot on my mind about it. I’ve gone into great length to discuss it with the kids, the hubs, but not here.
I am out of practice, of writing, of expressing myself. Living has become less living and more surviving.
I don’t want to survive, I wanna LIVE!
There is so much on my mind, so much I want to say, and I see other writers saying what I’m thinking and I nod, I silently agree and figure hey, they said it, I don’t have to. My writing is not the powerful political protests put out by my peers. Rather escapism. And that has been looked down on for years. Pshaw, escapeism, worthless. Says the critics and literary snobs who look down their nose at anything less than the ‘Great American Novel’.
And so I go to write and I feel guilty. There are all these IMPORTANT issues that must be addressed and what am I pounding away at? A fallout fan fic, a story about shapeshifting dragons, or a bastard prince who wormed his way into my soul and won’t leave me alone. I step away, load up the ps4 and try not to feel like a worthless hack, after all, isn’t that what they say a fantasy writer is? Just a hack.
My posts are, if I compare them to those I idolize, pathetic. Little bits of updates on the life of a struggling to stay sane person. Nothing like Scalzi, Bear, Hines and Wendig to name a few. Why bother?
But oddly enough, sometime over the past couple days, I started to re-evaluate my opinion on myself (which is a bit crappy, I’ll admit), and my writing. I write fantasy. My stories take place away from here. The struggles of the lives of people strong, weak, inspiring, pathetic, people who face their demons. Some overcome, some fail, and some just hang on my the skin of their teeth. I write people, emotions, relationships. I give the reader a way to escape the bleakness of their own lives by temporarily giving them a chance to live other lives.
There’s a gamer shirt I want, it says ‘I’m a gamer, not because I don’t have a life, but because I choose to have many’ Same goes for being a reader. We live the lives of the characters we read about. Sometimes it’s easier to face the trials and tribulations in a story that facing the seemingly endless, and sometimes hopeless future that is laid out before us. We need to allow ourselves time to disconnect. To step away from the now, the constant and overwhelming influx of information, to escape from here.
It can be healing. Especially if you connect with a character who reminds you of yourself. When you see them triumph, it can give you hope. It can give you something to hold on to.
Writing those safe places, those foxholes of the mind, that’s important.
Escapism is important.
Being allowed to step away, let the troubles of the world fade against the adventure in a story, allows the mind time to rest. And for someone, like myself, whose mind NEVER shuts off, letting it rest in such a way is important. What I write, is important.
I may not be as skilled as other writers, when detailing the political quagmire we find ourselves in. I do not have the spoons to delve deeply into the why of today. But I can give you a place to get away, to rest from the battles we are on the verge of facing.
Elizabeth Bear made a series of tweets this morning, tweets that helped me this one in particular struck a deep chord in me;
Stand up. Hold hands. Sing.
Stand up again.
One more time, stand up.
Stand up. Hold hands. Sing.
Don’t give up.
*takes a deep breath*
If you are feeling suicidal, please, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 800-273-8255 or go to their website suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You are far more loved than you realize, I promise you. And believe it or not, things will get better, no matter how bleak they may seem.
I may have screwed up the order of the chapters, see the comment about sick kids. This weekend I’ll be prepping stuffs and making sure I’m not borking it up too badly. Those of you who are Patrons, thank you so much! I do appreciate it. Those of you who can’t, no worries, I understand. Sometimes even $1.00 is too much in these tight times, I get it. Is all good.
You can check out the patreon over here; https://www.patreon.com/NPhoenix
This is going to be a tough few years, but we can get through it. Stay strong, we’ll make it.
Thank you, my readers, for sticking with me.
We’re sick here at Casa De La Phoenix, myself, the monkeys and the spouse type person. The posts I was hoping to write got pushed aside in a fit of coughing and hacking up lungs. blech.
Work has officially ended, I am back in the ‘unemplyed/self employed’ catagory. Gotta love that seasonal stuff. I had a blast, made some great friends, and am now debating my next move.
The patreon is live! I am super excited about it. There is so much to the Avaria stories, I’m almost bouncing in excitement. For those of you new to my blog/site/thingy you can peek at the planned book list over here. It’s a huge list, this stuff needs to get set free.
I hope you are all recovering from the disaster that was 2016. Time for me to get back to writing, and being ME.
It launched yesterday, while I was at work, without a hitch, as far as I know. This week, being the last I’m at my job (seasonal work), will be a mix of business building, editing and diving into book 2 which needs a near total rewrite.
So, the patreon page is over here if yinz wanted to take a look.
2017 is the Avaria year, join me in this journey.
Of course now I’m starting to get nervous, and worried, and anxious and brain is screaming ‘WTF ARE YOU DOING IT’S NOT PERFECT!?!?!’
Which brings me to this common problem with writers. Perfectionism. This idea to postpone pushing forward so you can make the story perfect!
But we are not perfect. And what we make doesn’t have to be. No, really, it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am going to do the best job I can in getting my stuff as fine tuned as I can without killing the ‘voice’ or the story. But sometimes the mind clings to the familiar of editing/rewriting to avoid the scary proposition of setting the story free, we cling to the comfortable lament ‘it’s not perfect’ to avoid the criticism of strangers of what we write. So many people have edited the spark out of the stories they write that what they have left is dull, lifeless and it is a disservice to the idea that got them to write it in the first place.
So I’m sitting here now, forcing myself to not over edit, to not stress too badly about what people ‘might’ think and enjoy the process.
I’m also going to go and reward myself by catching up on Valerie Ford’s Advent Story over on Patreon (which y’all should really go check out. Val is awesome, and her writing is GREAT.
Hope you all have a great day! ~ NP
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams,
Working on the Patreon backoffice and resting my feet. How are you doing? I hope your sunday is a peaceful one. gift giving eve is next saturday, try not to stress too much folks. ~ NP