For any readers in Texas, be safe. Lighting candles for you. Please stay safe.
Whether your kids are two-legged, four-legged, or no-legged,
fuzzy, feathery, scaley, or skin;
if your darlings are with you
or gazing down from above,
if you’re doing the job of both parents
or have a partner in crime,
Happy Mother’s Day.
I hope it’s a day full of peace and being appreciated.
The Bastard Prince plods on. I love this story so much I can barely contain my excitement. So close to being done! Sometimes I get this feeling of urgency. I have so many story ideas, I want to get them finished and published so I can get to the NEXT story. Sometimes I worry that I won’t get them done in my lifetime.
Elemental Truth I find it interesting and weird that both with E1 and BP I stalled around the part where things start to blow up in people’s faces (sieges and battles and such). Both storylines are complex, both storylines have a lot to them, and both stalled about 30 chapters in. I wonder why… Anyways, E1 is live both here and over at wattpad for those who prefer that setup better.
Politics: (this is a ramble, puking my thoughts on the screen.)
I’ve tried to stay out of politics here, but damnit I can’t stay quiet. I’m horrified. Embarrassed. Outraged by this mockery of a president that has defiled the white house. There’s a meme over on facebook that shows Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard (my hero!) with the caption of Damage Report! The note by the OP was that this was how they felt every morning when they looked at the news.
That’s how I feel. I’m afraid to say ‘What ELSE could he do to embarrass us?’ because I swear I feel like the great walking bad-tan is listening just so he can turn to his buddy Pence and say; hold my beer!
*takes a deep breath*
When did hate become acceptable? What has happened to my country? This isn’t who we are. Please, those of you who are from other parts of the world, please believe me when I say We’re better than this. I just wish my fellow countrymen, so blinded by hate and fear, would realize the damage they’re doing to us all.
And then the thought crossed my mind, late 90s early 2000’s there started a trend; reality TV. And the retirees suddenly started watching these horrid reality shows. Is it any wonder that they would then, turn around and elect a reality TV ‘star’? TV as I knew it growing up, doesn’t exist anymore. With the onset of faux news, and the war mongering, and the fear mongering following 9/11 followed by the insane hell bent efforts to obstruct and hate on our Nation’s first black president, is there really any wonder that the putrid, puss-filled, ignorant cheeto managed to win the election? They’d been groomed for a decade or more to go for the loud obnoxious one. And don’t even get me started on the ties with Russia*.
Sally Yates investigates cheeto.
Preet Bharara investigates cheeto.
James Comey investigates cheeto.
Gee, see a pattern here?
I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of seeing our nation being dragged through the muck behind a fool who knows nothing. I’m tired of the incompetence of this administration. The dimwits were so hell bent on getting into office by any means necessary, they forgot about things like organizational skills, planning etc… It’s exhausting. I want to go to sleep for a while. But we can’t back down. We have to stay ‘woke’. We have to resist. Our democracy, our nation is on the line.
And this is what spews from my brain at 1am as I’m trying to finish an edit and tell the Ice Dragons to stfu so I can finish the stories leading to theirs.
Anywho. I’ve got things to do in the morning, I’ve got scenes to finish, books to plot, and laundry. Lots of laundry to do. So I’ll leave you with this, one of my favorite songs covered by one of my favorite groups.
Peace can’t be just an obscure idea. We can get there. I know we can.
Be kind to each other. ~ N.Phoenix
This week was surprisingly challenging. From sick kids, to an ER trip (kid broke his hand) to just being generally overwhelmed and exhausted. I apologize for my silence this week. I have been working on the final filling of The Bastard prince and I think I’ve lined up a cover artist*. I do have my copy-editor waiting in the wings.
Elemental Truth; I’m going to be working on that this weekend also and finish filling in the gap scenes and get more chapters posted.
E1 and BP are not the only projects/worlds I play with. Lately I’ve had a series of perhistoric fantasy stuff beating around in my head (alongside fallout fanfic. don’t ask, it’s nuts XD) .
Timeframe on wrapping up BP and E1? uhm, soon. I don’t have my notes in front of me (I’m actually about to go outside and have some mom & kid time) but I know for BP I only have about 4 scenes, maybe five to finish fixing. E1, I’m not sure.
Hope you all have a great weekend. I’ll be posting writing updates at my twitter, https://twitter.com/Necia_Phoenix if yinz are interested.
Be kind to each other
Everyone struggles, everyone is on a journey. Don’t judge your progress by someone else’s.
Have a peaceful day.
I love April, and not just because it’s my birth month.
ANYWHO, I hope y’all are doing well. I apologize for being so quiet on this page.
What are your plans?
Become a Patron!
The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Emma Lazarus (November 2, 1883)
May you be at peace.
I have been dealing with sick kids, hubs and self, job applications, interviewing (I got the job! YAY) after being let go from a retail position I fell in love with. I’ve also been fighting depression. Some, I know, is cause by the mess of the past two years. Some is caused by my guilt over messing up and missing personal goals because of life. And some is caused by this circus of an election. And there is a lot on my mind about it. I’ve gone into great length to discuss it with the kids, the hubs, but not here.
I am out of practice, of writing, of expressing myself. Living has become less living and more surviving.
I don’t want to survive, I wanna LIVE!
There is so much on my mind, so much I want to say, and I see other writers saying what I’m thinking and I nod, I silently agree and figure hey, they said it, I don’t have to. My writing is not the powerful political protests put out by my peers. Rather escapism. And that has been looked down on for years. Pshaw, escapeism, worthless. Says the critics and literary snobs who look down their nose at anything less than the ‘Great American Novel’.
And so I go to write and I feel guilty. There are all these IMPORTANT issues that must be addressed and what am I pounding away at? A fallout fan fic, a story about shapeshifting dragons, or a bastard prince who wormed his way into my soul and won’t leave me alone. I step away, load up the ps4 and try not to feel like a worthless hack, after all, isn’t that what they say a fantasy writer is? Just a hack.
My posts are, if I compare them to those I idolize, pathetic. Little bits of updates on the life of a struggling to stay sane person. Nothing like Scalzi, Bear, Hines and Wendig to name a few. Why bother?
But oddly enough, sometime over the past couple days, I started to re-evaluate my opinion on myself (which is a bit crappy, I’ll admit), and my writing. I write fantasy. My stories take place away from here. The struggles of the lives of people strong, weak, inspiring, pathetic, people who face their demons. Some overcome, some fail, and some just hang on my the skin of their teeth. I write people, emotions, relationships. I give the reader a way to escape the bleakness of their own lives by temporarily giving them a chance to live other lives.
There’s a gamer shirt I want, it says ‘I’m a gamer, not because I don’t have a life, but because I choose to have many’ Same goes for being a reader. We live the lives of the characters we read about. Sometimes it’s easier to face the trials and tribulations in a story that facing the seemingly endless, and sometimes hopeless future that is laid out before us. We need to allow ourselves time to disconnect. To step away from the now, the constant and overwhelming influx of information, to escape from here.
It can be healing. Especially if you connect with a character who reminds you of yourself. When you see them triumph, it can give you hope. It can give you something to hold on to.
Writing those safe places, those foxholes of the mind, that’s important.
Escapism is important.
Being allowed to step away, let the troubles of the world fade against the adventure in a story, allows the mind time to rest. And for someone, like myself, whose mind NEVER shuts off, letting it rest in such a way is important. What I write, is important.
I may not be as skilled as other writers, when detailing the political quagmire we find ourselves in. I do not have the spoons to delve deeply into the why of today. But I can give you a place to get away, to rest from the battles we are on the verge of facing.
Elizabeth Bear made a series of tweets this morning, tweets that helped me this one in particular struck a deep chord in me;
*takes a deep breath*
If you are feeling suicidal, please, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 800-273-8255 or go to their website suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You are far more loved than you realize, I promise you. And believe it or not, things will get better, no matter how bleak they may seem.
I may have screwed up the order of the chapters, see the comment about sick kids. This weekend I’ll be prepping stuffs and making sure I’m not borking it up too badly. Those of you who are Patrons, thank you so much! I do appreciate it. Those of you who can’t, no worries, I understand. Sometimes even $1.00 is too much in these tight times, I get it. Is all good.
You can check out the patreon over here; https://www.patreon.com/NPhoenix
This is going to be a tough few years, but we can get through it. Stay strong, we’ll make it.
Thank you, my readers, for sticking with me.
We’re sick here at Casa De La Phoenix, myself, the monkeys and the spouse type person. The posts I was hoping to write got pushed aside in a fit of coughing and hacking up lungs. blech.
Work has officially ended, I am back in the ‘unemplyed/self employed’ catagory. Gotta love that seasonal stuff. I had a blast, made some great friends, and am now debating my next move.
The patreon is live! I am super excited about it. There is so much to the Avaria stories, I’m almost bouncing in excitement. For those of you new to my blog/site/thingy you can peek at the planned book list over here. It’s a huge list, this stuff needs to get set free.
I hope you are all recovering from the disaster that was 2016. Time for me to get back to writing, and being ME.
It launched yesterday, while I was at work, without a hitch, as far as I know. This week, being the last I’m at my job (seasonal work), will be a mix of business building, editing and diving into book 2 which needs a near total rewrite.
So, the patreon page is over here if yinz wanted to take a look.
2017 is the Avaria year, join me in this journey.
Of course now I’m starting to get nervous, and worried, and anxious and brain is screaming ‘WTF ARE YOU DOING IT’S NOT PERFECT!?!?!’
Which brings me to this common problem with writers. Perfectionism. This idea to postpone pushing forward so you can make the story perfect!
But we are not perfect. And what we make doesn’t have to be. No, really, it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am going to do the best job I can in getting my stuff as fine tuned as I can without killing the ‘voice’ or the story. But sometimes the mind clings to the familiar of editing/rewriting to avoid the scary proposition of setting the story free, we cling to the comfortable lament ‘it’s not perfect’ to avoid the criticism of strangers of what we write. So many people have edited the spark out of the stories they write that what they have left is dull, lifeless and it is a disservice to the idea that got them to write it in the first place.
So I’m sitting here now, forcing myself to not over edit, to not stress too badly about what people ‘might’ think and enjoy the process.
I’m also going to go and reward myself by catching up on Valerie Ford’s Advent Story over on Patreon (which y’all should really go check out. Val is awesome, and her writing is GREAT.
Hope you all have a great day! ~ NP